CHICKEN PLUS CURRY ROTI: 216 Close Avenue - (416) 516-0747

Kevin outside Chicken Plus Curry Roti

“I often cry during episodes of Glee” Kevin said while recalling a recent and saddening episode of the hit TV show.  There is a small chance I might have provoked such a statement by talking about the last episode where Sue Sylvester's sister died and the Glee club sang a Willy Wonka song at her funeral.  There is even a smaller chance that I might have mentioned how I choked up and got misty during the funeral scene.  But really, it most likely didn’t happen.  Really unlikely.  Like 97.8% unlikely.  The lesson here is:  anything you say or do during a Parkdale dinner with me can and will be used against you on the blog.  Lesson learned, eh Kevin?

Dinner guest Kevin Barry

Oh right, everyone meet Kevin Barry.  Kevin is the little brother of our previous dinner guest Chris Barry and he works at the best print shop in Ontario – C.J.Graphics.  I had just finished printing a small job with Kevin for my most recent targeted mailer campaign (rather than the usual promotional ejaculation widely sprayed over every Canadian art/creative directors desk) showing off the ridiculously good job I did photographing a difficult campaign for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the Sick Kids Hospital when I suggested we grab some Parkdale grub.  Kevin, being a very tall man, accepted (and sorry ladies, he’s married.  And yes his wife is awesome and hot!).

The atmosphere at Chicken Plus Curry Roti

So we decided on a little place just off Queen Street called Chicken Plus Curry Roti.  We arrived and I immediately I liked it.  It's one of those little corner joints that I’ve been dying to try.  Located just up the street from the back of Parkdale Collegiate, you got the impression that the high school kids are their most frequent patrons.  The woman behind the counter also seemed to have a no-bullshit air about her personality.  The kind of person who’s either been through a war or has been serving Parkdale kids lunch and snacks for many years.  I’m not sure which is worse.

Speaking of war, this is now the third candidate in the great Parkdale Roti war.  So far Mother India is winning having beaten Bacchus Roti Shop.  The question now is...will Curry Plus Chicken Roti beat Mother Indias amazingly tasty roti???  Kevin and I were excited to know (well mostly me, Kevin was just hungry, still weepy, and doing a shaky impersonation of Rachel singing Papa Can You Hear Me?…..yeeeeesh!).

Kevin's goat roti

I ordered what I assumed would be the house specialty – a chicken roti with a side of creamy cole slaw.  Kevin got the goat roti.  No sides.  He’s like that.  The woman behind the counter said that it might be a few minutes since they make all their rotis fresh to order.  Score!!!

The atmosphere was just perfect.  Well not perfect, per se, but its imperfections make it perfect!  Its at this kind of restaurant that I love to eat.  Small, cozy, clean, homemade signs, old pictures, and for some reason I LOVE the tiles on the walls.  Can someone please explain that to me?

On side note, can someone please explain something else to me?  Baby-boomers and restaurants.  Why are they the worst combination ever?!  Has anyone else ever noticed that going out to dinner with a baby-boomer is like driving with someone prone to road rage?  The littlest thing will set them off and, instead of ignoring it or not considering it a particularly big deal, they will sacrifice the enjoyment of the entire evening by sulking, yelling, and being generally pissed off.  It's like...suppose a waiter happens to walk past your table at a moment when you want their attention and the waiter, god forbid, doesn't see you.  To a baby boomer that's the equivalent of the waiter having walked over to the table, thrown a cup of ice water in your face, and then moved on.  And the principles!!!  Oh god, don't get me started about baby-boomers who scream about the "principles".  A word of advice.  If you are out to dinner with a baby-boomer and they angrily demand to speak to the waiter/manager/owner and say something to the equivalent of "It's not the money, it's the principle!" just leave the table, wait outside 'til they're finished their chest thumping, and then sneak back inside and leave the server an extra tip.  Lord knows they deserve it!  Maybe I've just had some bad experiences but it seems like everyone I mention this to has very similar horror stories.  Has anyone else had any similar experiences with this generation?

Best to skip the cole slaw

Ok, thanks for that.  I needed to vent.  Now back to C.P.C.R.!!!  Our rotis arrived in less time than we thought (like 5 minutes) and they smelled great.  Wrapped in a paper foil and served on a foam plate, we opened them up to the warm steam that is the Parkdale roti.  Mmmmm…..  And they tasted pretty good too.  They were piping hot and full of flavor, the roti wrap was a little chewy but not too bad, and we gobbled it up real quick. Mine was a bit on the sweeter side than Kevin’s goat roti but both tasted pretty fine.  Perhaps there was not as much meat, sauce, and vegetables inside the roti as we might have liked but for $5.75/roti, it’s a pretty darn good value.  However it felt like more of a lunch than a dinner.  Well, that depends on your eating habits I guess.  I’m not sure if the coleslaw was homemade or not but I’m guessing not because it was not really up to snuff.  It was basically the same as KFC coleslaw.  So let’s just forget about that, k?

The dinner ended and Kevin and I parted ways.  I went home to my beautiful fiancé (soon to be wife in like 4 weeks) and Kevin went home to cry over his Chris Colfer poster pasted above his hope chest in his bedroom.  All in all, we both liked Chicken Plus Curry Roti and I’d go back.  However, I’m sorry to say that Mother India is still in the lead!  I actually went back to Mother India a while ago for lunch and updated its score to a 4.  Its a really fucking good roti!  Chicken Plus Curry Roti did make a very nice roti and I would recommend it but I wish it had been bigger and filled with more flavor and roti goodness!  But a respectable roti it was indeed!

Rating:  3.25

BARQUE SMOKEHOUSE: 299 Roncesvalles Avenue - (416) 532-7700

Chris and Rob outside Barque Smokehouse

Anyone who knows me knows of my intense love for eating good meat.  In my world, the word “meat” is spelled “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeat”.  It’s like a type of communion for me.  I don’t like getting drunk off booze anymore however getting meat-drunk off a good steak is like an evening at an opium brothel.  For me, hearing the word “braised” is like getting a full body massage by 12 sirens while singing the most sonorous songs imaginable and smoking all the pot in the world.  Yes you heard me right, ALL the pot in the world.  That’s a lot.  Much to many friends chagrin, I am a carnivore through and through.  Proud one at that as well!

So you can imagine my giddiness when Barque Smokehouse (pronounced Bar-Cue, I think) opened up on Roncesvalles - a new local smokehouse that seems to be riding the wave of “real bbq” restaurants throughout Toronto.  Ever since I purchased my Weber Smokey Mountain Cooker, which I mark as the beginning of my love-affair with meat, smoked meat has become a sublime indulgence for me. I love sitting around the smoker smelling the sweet wafts of hickory, mesquite, alder, cherry, pecan, maple, cedar, or whatever is the smoke-de-jour.  There’s a certain kind of basic and natural quality about cooking with smoke.  It hits something deep within me.  

Our dinner guest Chris Barry and Rob Norton

So a week or so ago, I invited my good friends Rob Norton and Chris Barry off to Barque for a bite.  Rob and I were in the same class at Ryerson studying photography however Rob has moved on to focus more on graphic design.  He has also become one of the premier Ambrotype makers in Canada, possibly the world.  Chris Barry and I also went to school but he was a year under me.  He’s basically my hero.  Media artist, writer, radio + TV producer, editor, curator, DJ, the boy does it all…and does it all very very well!  He’s currently working as a producer on an upcoming History Television program about rogue collector Bill Jameson.  Seriously can’t wait for that!

Popcorn and dipping sauces for munching

A little apology in advance.  I accidentally deleted my notes from this restaurant off my Iphone so I’m writing entirely by memory.  I know its amazingly unprofessional of me to even write a review without my notes but hey, this is where the “unqualified” in the phrase “completely unqualified restaurant reviews” really shines bright.  

So we arrived and were seated with a bucket of plain popcorn and a couple of dipping sauces!  Excellent!!!  This was a really ingenious way for customers to snack without filling up.  For starters, I ordered a coconut corn soup and Rob ordered some smoked bbq wings.  And for our mains we each got a taster plate.  Basically you can order a plate and pick 3 meats and a couple of sides.  I ordered the brisket, the smoked chicken, and the ribs.  The fourth meat option was a beef rib so Chris ordered that and promised me a bite.  For my sides I ordered Cuban corn and some steamed vegetables.  Chris and Rob ordered some fries and smoked asparagus if I remember correctly.

Coconut Corn Soup

Ok.  So the soup arrives and it’s fucking devine!!!  Like amazingly tasty.  Creamy, a touch of sweetness from the coconut and there were little hunks of bacon hidden within which is always a plus.  It was a good size too.  Almost lunch portion!  Rob let me try a smoked wing and it was pretty good too but I must say I was really focused in on the corn soup so I didn’t really think too much about it.  However Rob and Chris seemed to really like the wings and cleaned off their plate like vultures.

The meat arrived and the anticipation grew.  My first bite was the ribs.  It has a bit of a sweet rub and sauce to it which wasn’t tooooo sweet so you could still taste the smokey goodness of the ribs.  The brisket however was the best part.  Smokey and moist, I think everyone tried a bite and we all agreed it was the best meat of the bunch.  The chicken had a nice flavour but it turned out a bit dry.  For some reason I expected this.  Chicken is already a hard meat to keep moist and its especially hard when slow cooking it over smoke.  I’ve been to many smokehouses in the past and it seems like an ongoing battle to get the chicken right.  Or perhaps I’m just being too demanding of my chicken.  Regardless, I finished everything on my plate except the chicken.  Next time I would order the beef rib as my third.  I had a bite of Chris’ and it was just wonderful.

Mmmmmeat!  And sides!

So the meat tasted great, the apps were wonderful, however there was something missing from the meal.  Normally smoked food has a bit of a bite in its flavor and for some reason that bite seemed to be lacking.  Maybe they’re still finding their feet (I think they had only been open for a week) or perhaps they’re just not smoking the food long enough but in comparison to a place like the Stockyards, Barque Smokehouse falls a little short.  Regardless, it was still pretty fucking delicious and I would definitely go back for another meat night!

A great addition to Roncy!

The sides were great too.  The highlight was the Cuban corn which was bbq’d corn with some goat cheese (I think) smeared across the kernels.  The smoked asparagus were brilliant and the fries were pretty darn tasty too.  They are probably some of the best fries in Parkdale.  The steamed vegetables were great as a palate cleanser and reprieve from the smokey flavours during the meal but were pretty bland on their own.

It’s really wonderful to see Barque as busy as it was.  We were lucky to have gotten the table we did and we spent our whole meal watching the lineup at the door get longer and longer.  Many times I walked past the restaurant that had previously occupied the space and had rarely ever seen any customers, let alone a line up.  And with the businesses on Roncesvalles having to suffer through yet another summer of hardcore construction, it’s nice to see a place that attracts a large crowd to a street that certainly needs the business.  

Rating:  4

HAPPY TIME RESTAURANT: 1384 Queen Street West - (416) 532-9565

Tristen outside the Happy Time Restaurant

When I was around 14 years old, a friend of mine and I went to our local video shop and we decided to rent the movie Ishtar.  We knew of its reputation of being one of the worst movies ever made and we thought it would be hilarious to watch it that afternoon.  So we brought it home, popped it into the VCR and sat back.  We very quickly realized why this movie had the reputation it did.  It wasn't bad in the same way that say Plan 9 From Outer Space or Troll 2 or the Star Wars Christmas Special was bad.  Those movies are simultaneously bad and hilarious (just like a good pun!).  Ishtar, on the other hand, well, it was just bad.  Like really boring.  And long.  And the more you watched it the more you wanted to turn it off and do anything else!

There occurred a decisive moment around 15 minutes into the movie, right around the point where the novelty of the joke wore off and I realized that I had to sit through another hour and a half of this garbage.  I didn't think it was funny anymore.  I wanted to turn it off.  So we did

Inside the Happy Time Restaurant

We learned an important lesson that day.  Ideas are easier than actions.  Saying that you're going to watch one of the worst movies ever made is much easier than actually sitting through one of the worst movies ever made.

The same feeling hit me as I began my stroll over to the Happy Time Restaurant for what was sure to be a memorable dinner with my best pal Tristen Brown.  I had walked past it many time and that only thing I knew about Happy Time  was that it seemed to be a place for people to get hammered, stand outside, smoke, and yell at each other.  I suddenly thought back to the lesson I learned from Ishtar and realized that there is a very big difference between saying you're going to eat at this restaurant and actually putting the food into your mouth. The only difference was that I couldn't turn off my decision to eat there.  Sure I could postpone it, but I had a responsibility to my readers to eat at EVERY restaurant in Parkdale, not just the reasonable ones.

The sweetest boy you ever did knew!

But first, a word about our guest.  Tristen and I have known each other since we met in the ice room at the old Helium nightclub where we both worked as bussers during our university years  He then became my roommate for 4 years.  A brilliant jazz trumpet player and illustrator, Tristen has since taken to the interwebby-thingy-madoodle and was recently hired by one of the premier international web development companies Development Seed in Washington D.C.!  On a side not, may I offer a quick word of advice to aspiring photographers?  Want to know whats more valuable in the early days of your career than having a big studio, all the equipment in the world, and a really really really nice car?  The answer is....a roomate who will basically do anything you ask for a photograph.  They are worth their weight in gold!

On to our Happy Time experience.  It didn't start well.  On the way there I received a phone call from Tristen asking where I was and how much longer I'd be?  He seemed nervous.  When I arrived he had already started drinking and had a story to tell.  Apparently one of the owners of the place came by his table to take his order.  Normally this wouldn't be out of the ordinary except for the owner was pushing her daughter in a stroller along with her.  Tristen had been momentarily confused since this was the first time someone ever took his order in a restaurant while pushing a stroller.  I thought it was hilarious.

The menu

So I turned around to look at the menu however Tristen quickly told me that there were only two options available to eat that day.  Chicken wings and fish and chips.  Perrrrrfect!  Tristen ordered the wings and I got the fish and chips.  We also got ourselves some mugs of draft beer.  We never asked what kind.

The atmosphere of Happy Time is about what you would expect.  A bar at the far end of the restaurant with bar stools in front, a pool table and a connected line of tables in the center of the room, and scattered seating around the perimeter.  The patrons were also what you might expect.  Loud, uninhibited, and wonderfully friendly!

The beer arrived and it tasted cold, clean, and great.  So far so good.  Right around that time two police officers came strolling in and went to talk with the bartender.  I tried to eavesdrop on their conversation but all I heard was the bartender saying repeatedly "No I haven't seen him around here in a while."  Cops left shortly after that.

Tristen's sauceless chicken wings

Food arrives!  My fish and Tristens chicken wings are both served on top of a bed of fries.  I get a little Dixie cup of tartar sauce and Tristen, well, he gets nothing.  The wings were sauce-less.  Should be interesting.

Ok here's where I think we should recall a little conversation we had in the last post about expectations.  For those of you who might not have read it, in the last post I spoke about how its impossible to separate your expectations and pretensions from your food experience.  One day if we did nothing but blind tastings it might be possible, but in the meantime I think its best to not even try.  We obviously had very very low expectations for the Happy Time Restaurant.  To be honest I was expecting to be eating 2 week old roadkill fish with McCain frozen fries, regurgitated bile-scented ketchup, and tartar sauce that...well, you get the idea.  I should also mention that right before our food arrived a couple of patrons were refused service at the bar and then started yelling at the top of his lungs at the whole restaurant.  Then they threatened to come back and beat the shit out of the bartender.  Like I said, expectations weren't too high but man were we having fun!

Daniel's fish and chips

We each ate our whole meal and enjoyed it!  My fish was moist and actually had a nice tooth to it, the tartar sauce seemed to be store-bought but still tasted pretty good, and the ketchup had no trace scents of bile anywhere.  Score!  Tristen said the same.  Even though his chicken wings were sauce-less, they still had a wholesome salty flavour and were nicely moist.  I tried a bite and he was right.  The fries were standard bar/pub fries but were pipping hot and tasted fine. 

We walked away surprised.  The beer was cold and clean, the food was tasty, owners were really sweet, and we had a really fun time chatting with some of the patrons.  And best of all, my meal (2 beers + fish and chips) came to 11 bucks!  Tristen's meal priced around the same!  We walked away from the place and feeling great and really happy, just like the name of the place promised we would.

The true test of the Happy Time Restaurant came later on when I was waiting for the food poisoning to set in.  So I went to finish up my night.  Went to a gallery show, came home, watched some TV, threw some old batteries at the passing neighbourhood kids, huffed some permanent markers, took a Benadryl, went to sleep, woke up the next morning....

Nothing!

Tristen and I agreed that even though we would not bring our family to the Happy Time Restaurant, we would happily go there with good friends for some late night beers and some tasty deep fried snacks.  We also both agreed it scored a solid 3.

Rating: 3